Goodbye 27

Hello All,
I know it has been a long time, but today is November 9, 2009 -- my last day at a 27 year old man! I have lived to see another year!

May nothing but goodness, health, happiness and love be in my life from here on out :)
Im celebrating in San Diego with my friend Levi. We have had a great time thus far!

My next post I will a year older and wiser :)

Goodbye 27!!

Night Before My Results

So it is Thursday night... around 10pm
I am a bit nervous about going to the doctors tomorrow.
I will be working a half day at UC Davis and then go to the hospital for my results.

It is odd, kind of bitter sweet. I am excited to get my results, but I also have anxiety for the results as well

So, until tomorrow, I wait!!

July 4, 2009

It was a great weekend.
Food, Fireworks and Fun!

Amazing weekend.

Friday is the day I find out the results of my tests...
kind of worried!

Only a week until the results!

3 month Check up -- July 1

Hello All,

So all I have been hearing is "josh, can you please update your blog"

I am sorry to everyone! :)

So here is the update.

My last day at Sac State was May 29th
It was a very nice day. May 30th started my new life

On the 30th to June 3 I went to Stanford and had my first WACUHO Exec board meeting.
I am so excited to work with the amazingly new elected exce board members!!
It is goign to be an amazing experience!

Then on June 3, I left to go to Connecticut to visit family. I was home until June 13th. I spent time with my mom, dad, aunt, uncle and grandmother.
It was a lot of fun.

I also went to New Haven and hung out with my dear friend Steve Indich.
I went to New Hampshire and hung out with Tim and Shawn
I went to Boston and hung out with my Suffolk Folk!
I went to Rhode Island and hung out with Ben

Amazing

Then on the 15th of June, I started my new job at UC Davis.
It is wonderful to be at UCD. I am learning so much, but the learning curve for me is big! :)

As for my health, its TBA. I just had a CT Scan today. I left work in Davis and drove back to Sacramento for my CT Scan. I will have a doctors appt on July 10th for hte results.

I have not been feeling well, so i am not sure what is wrong.
On June 21 was Sacramento Pride and on June 27th it was San Fran Pride. I marched in both parades. I have felt so sick lately, I left both pride parades early...

not sure what is wrong, but we will soon find out.
I'm not too worried.

Honestly, I am loving life! :)
My new apt is great!
My new job is amazing!

Love to all

WACUHO

WACU-what?!?

The first week of April I attended a conference called WACUHO. (the Western Association for College and University Housing Officers aka WAUCHO)

Since I have moved to California, I have attended this conference. It is when all of the housing officers (coordinator to directors) come together and have a week conference about how to better improve our own departments. The WACUHO purpose/mission is to emphasize the unity of the housing profession in student residence halls, apartments, theme houses and cooperatives, food service, developmental programming, administration, conference services, facilities, and related operations through WACUHO publications, conferences, and other activities.

Nevertheless, there is an overarching Executive Board that oversees this organization. Annually at the conference, the organization votes in new members to join the Exective Board.

This year, I was voted on the board.

It is an amazing honor to have the entire Western Association vote me on to the Executive Board of a regional organization.

I serve as the Member At Large North -- which means that I am the representative for all college and universities in the Northern region of WACUHO.

It is an honor to be asked to run
It is even more of an honor to be elected.

After the election, I was speechless.. yes, me -- Josh O'Connor -- speechless!!

Amazing...!

Health Update April 09

On Friday April 10th, I had my 3 month check up with Doctor Tanaka.

A week prior to April 10th, I went to the cancer center to get my blood work done.

When meeting with Dr. T, I found out that my health is still not great.
My blood tests were not as good as I hoped they would be.
I have a Chromograin A Test every 3 months. This test is designed to pick up on a hormone that is released by my tumors. The more of the homromoe detected in my body means that the cancer is still active.

The scale for this test is 0-50. My numbers have always been in the 20’s.
Mainly my numbers have been 27-32.
We never want to hit 50.

At my April 10th meeting with Dr. Tanaka, my most recent test was 48.

Dr. Tanaka is concerned.

He scheduled me for a full body scan

I will have a chest scan for the tumor in my lung (to see if it has spread or become larger/smaller)

I will have a abdomen scan for the tumors in my abdomen (about 5) to see if they have spread or become larger/smaller

And lastly, I will have a pelvic scan for the tumors in my pelvic region (about 3) to see they have spread or become larger/smaller

It does cause a great deal of stress, but ironically though, I feel great! I am not letting it get me down!

Too much good going on in my life to allow this to take over!!

Keep sending good thoughts!

Job Update

Hello everyone.
It has been a busy month. I am sorry that I have not updated my blog as quickly as I would have liked.

I have been job searching, apt hunting, and dealing with current work and doctors. I am luck to say and happy to say that things are starting to fall into place. however, with that said, life is hard! it takes a lot of work to make things "fall
into place"

Nevertheless, they have.

So now to the good news!
I have accepted a job at UC Davis!!

Now, many of you are proably wondering why I was looking.
I have been at Sac State for 4 years now.
Throughout my four year, I have been a Residence Life Coordinator at California State University Sacramento. In my position as the Residence Life Coordinator, I was responsible for the overall supervision and operations of 3 co-ed residence halls; housing over 650 residents, 18 Resident Advisors, 2 hall managers and 15 Desk Attendants. In addition to the supervision and training of staff, I am responsible for the assessment and development of programs that meet the developmental needs of students, while collaborating with multiple departments and organizations on campus. I also adjudicate student conduct for my area.

This position at Sac State was a live on position -- which means I live on campus, in the residence halls (Dorms) with the students.

On June 1, 2009, my last day at Sac State, I will be completing my 10th consecutive year of living in the residence halls. At the age of 17, I moved out of my parents house in West Hartford Connecticut and into a residence hall at Roger Williams Univesrity in Bristol RI. I have never left the halls. I am now 27 years old and after 10 years, I am finally moving into an apartment.. Im kind of scared.

It has been amazing. However, with all of my health issues and stress of living in, I needed to find a job to move out of the halls.

So I accepted a job at University of California, Davis. (www.ucdavis.edu)
It is located in Davis California, which is only 20 minutes west of Sacramento. I will be living in Sacramento and will commute to Davis. I am very excited.

I am a Conduct Coordinator at UC Davis

My new Job Description:
This position functions independently, on-site within a Residential Area comprised of approximately 1500 to 1900 residents and 30 to 45 student staff employees. The Conduct Coordinator is a member of a three or four person team which provides 24 hour on-call, emergency response and supervision for the Area as well as for the entire 4500 person residential system. Within a multicultural environment, this position provides advising to students and staff within the areas of policy enforcement, citizenship development, conflict management and crisis management and is responsible for adjudicating policy violations, determining sanctions and making referrals to other campus units. The position has delegated authority to represent Student Housing and provide consultation to the campus on matters of policy, citizenship, conduct, student development, staff training, diversity education, transition issues, alcohol and drug prevention and student behavior.


I start June 15th!

I am very excited, however, the next 2 months are going to be rough for me.
I need to find an apartment
I need to buy furniture (because I own NOTHING!!)
And I need to not stress!! 

It is all good, but I have a lot of things to do..
So bare with me if I am stressed

March Update

Hello All,
I am sorry it has taken me so long to update my blog. I have been crazy busy.

February ended on a low note. After the passing of my friend Carls mom, things were very hard. Her funeral was beautiful, but it was a reality to me that death can trump my life. However that is really no real way to live life... so I continue living.
Carl and I have become closer and we chat daily,

My friend Todd has been doing well.. I think. I have not spoken to him in a while. After a few of his chemo treatments, he left Chicago to go back home to Columbus OH to visit his family. I have not heard from him since. I hope he is well. I have been talking to his brother Troy as well.

As for me, I have had my ups and my downs.
I am currently in the middle of a job search. That has been stressful.
I went to Seattle Washington on March 5-8th. The conference was called
NASPA - Student Affairs Administrators in Higher Education. It is when colleges and universities from all over the country come together and do a job hiring conference. It was amazing. I had over 19 interviews. I did very well. I am still currently doing phone interviews and on campus interviews. It has been fun, but stressful. Wish me luck

As for my health -- things have been good. I have been feeling great. However, you have to remember that I live my life in 3 month periods now. I have to visit my doctor and get a full body scan to see how my tumors look every three month. Well, my three months are almost up. The week of April 1 (our universities spring break), I will need to go to the cancer hospital and my tests done all over again. Blood work, scans, and doctor appointments will happen all over again. I am not looking forward to doing all of this, however, I know that it is necessary.

So that is my update. I thank everyone who has been contacting me for an update.
I will let you know when I have my tests and the results..

more to come......

FYI: it is almost 80 degrees here in California today.. so i'm going to go enjoy the weather!

My Friend Todd -- Update

My friend Todd has not had the easiest road.
I hate it!

I do wonder why bad things happen to good people? But that is not a good question to ask, but cancer is not something that anyone should get... good or bad. It is a horrible thing!!

I have been talking to my friend Todd's brother Troy. Troy is an amazing man who is a loving, caring and intelligent man. Troy loves his brother so much and though I do not know Troy well, I can tell he is a genuine man who's love runs deep.
Todd is a lucky man!

Tonight, I received a text message update from Troy about his brother Todd.

Todd has a second lesion on his brain -- 5mm and 8mm.
The doctors caught it early and are giving him a dose of radiation after they stop his chemo in half..

May the powers above watch over Todd

xoxo Todd xoxo

As February comes to an End.....

So as February comes to an end it has been an interesting month.

It started off badly, but it has slowly been changing, for the better... I hope
(St. Pattys Days is coming... I need the luck of the Irish)

This month started a bit odd.

The week of Feb 9th was a challenge!
I lost a friend to cancer. It was my friend Carl's mother.
She was the first person I have lost to cancer, since I have been diagnosed.
I do not want to take on the pain of a friends mothers passing, but it did have an impact on my life as the true final result of this disease has played out in front of my face.

Her funeral was beautiful.

Around the same time, I started to spit up blood. I am not sure why, but I was bleeding from my mouth... for no reason. I have been monitoring my bleeding. As of today, it has stopped.


Later that week, I found a lump.
Yes, a lump.
And of course, I freaked out! However, I did not tell anyone.
I feel that I am falling apart.
The lump was located on my scrotum. Left side.
It was not attached to my testicle, but actually on the scrotum.
I waited a week.(i know, not good, but I did not want to sound like a hypochondriac)
I figured it was an ingrown hair or something like that....

Two weeks later, the lump was still there.
To the touch, it has not gotten bigger or smaller... which could be a good thing.
Also, I developed a rash. It was odd. It is perfectly round circle -- bright red -- sore to touch -- It was over my entire body -- my arm, back, feet, legs. This is a picture of what it looked like on my foot (the quarter is to show how big the rash is...)





I decided to call my doctor. I called my oncologist (Dr. Tanaka) and my primary care Dr. Chang.

Dr. Chang saw me immediately.
He told me that I got a staff infection.
I could have picked it up from my many trips to the hospital.
I am currently taking strong steroids to kill off the infection.
Dr. Chang also told me that the lump in my scrotum could also be a result of my staff infection.

However, I am on day 7 of my 10 day medicine routine, and the lump on my scrotum has not gotten any smaller.


As for work, I am currently in the process of looking for a new job.
After 4 years of living in Sacramento in residence halls and 10 total years living in the residence halls since 1999 to 2009, it is time to move out.
I will be going to a job placement conference next weekend (March 4-8th)

Wish me luck

Though things have been bad, they are starting to get better....
Through love and inspiration from others, I will move on.

Thank you all

My First Experience with Reiki

Today, after finding out that Carls mom passed away, I realized that I really needed to do something for myself. So I decided to finally book a reiki session.

It was amazing. I found peace for a while.
It made me calm
It made me dizzy
It made me tired
It made me rested
It made me well... for the time being.

I am looking forward to more sessions.

Passing of a Friend

Today at 5:09am my friend Carl's mom passed away.

She lost her battle with cancer.

She fought a long hard battle, but she is finally in peace.

May she watch upon us all.

January 09 -- NOT so fine!!

2009 has not started off too well for me!

What a month January has been!

After returning from the East Coast for my holiday visit, I was thrown back into work. It was very nice to be back in California because it was about 40 degrees warmer from Connecticut! :) It was nice to be back.

Upon my return, I found out that one of my dear colleagues passed away. The Director of Housing at Pepperdine University in Malibu CA passed away unexpectedly. The news crush and shocked housing professionals across the state of California as he was a beloved man who spent his entire life devoted to supporting others. JB will be greatly missed!!

Then on January 11 I found out (via my CT scan) that I have a 3mm tumor in the base of my left lung. Of course, this caused a great deal of stress in my life. Despite the stress, I know that things are going to be ok. I think it cause so much stress because I helped my friend Todd do research on his lung cancer. Due to the research for Todd, I know WAY too much about lung cancer and it scares me that I have a tumor in my lung.

Shortly after I found out my diagnoses, I found out that one of my main cancer supports (and a strong survivor) found a small 1mm tumor in her heart. This scared me. I know that she probably sugar coated some of the information and her fears for me so that I would not worry, but I do! (and I know she is reading this.. ) She is a very good friend whom I have relied greatly upon. All of my thoughts and prayers are with her. However, now we are both in the same boat. We both have to wait for 3 months until we can have another CT scan and find out what all of this means... so we wait together, we pray together and we secretly stress together! :)

Then my friend Todd informed me that he was going to have Lung Cancer Surgery. This caused me a great deal of stress.. .more so then anything else.. which is weird, I know. This caused me so much stress because I was so afraid to lose someone in my life that was battling cancer. I am afraid that if their fight ends, mine might end as well. I know that this sounds odd... how could someone's disease impact me.. but mentally it does impact me. I have not lost any of my cancer support and I don't want to start. My supports have been my hope, my light and my strength to keep going. If they are living with cancer, so can I!! So the thought of losing Todd made me go mad! I was afraid how I was going to react if he did not make it. I was afraid I would have survivor guilt. I was just afraid. Actually I still am!

While trying to come to terms with all of this information, I received a phone call from my very good friend Carl. Carl asked to come over to my house one day because he was very upset. I agreed. He informed me that his mother was dying of cancer. She is 54. Carl's mom is a breast cancer survivor. She was doing really well... for several years. She was living strong and loving life. Recently, she was having a great deal of pain in her side (by her abdomen) She went to her doctors and found out that the cancer has spread to her lung, 75% of her liver, her bones and her hips. She is in a great deal of pain. I am praying for her pain to leave.

And Lastly, I decided that I would get Reiki.
Reiki is a spiritual practice developed in 1922 by Mikao Usui. After three weeks of fasting and meditating on Mount Kurama, in Japan, Usui claimed to receive the ability of "healing without energy depletion". A portion of the practice, tenohira or palm healing, is used as a form of complementary and alternative medicine. Tenohira is a technique whereby practitioners believe they are moving "healing energy" through the palms. I called the Sacramento Reiki Center and spoke to a woman named Barbara. She is great. She totally was sweet. We booked a time.
Then she called me back and told me that she can not take on anymore clients because she was diagnosed with breast cancer and needed surgery this Friday.

Crazy, I think I am attracting cancer.

NOTE: As I was writing this blog, Carl called me and informed me that his mother has less then a week to live. I am crushed. This seems to be getting harder and harder. sometimes life is not fair....

I wanted to end this blog on a high note, but i just cant right now.
I will finish this blog at a later date.

My Thoughts are with Todd

My friend Todd has been on my mind lately.
As a reminder, my friend Todd lives in Chicago and was diagnosed with lung cancer a half year ago.

I have never met Todd, however he is totally a part of my life. I dont even think he knows how much I think about him.

I met Todd through my very good friend Mike, who use to live in Connecticut with me. Mike since then has moved to Ohio with this partner. Todd is the brother of Mike's partner. Odd connection I know, but I could not be more grateful to have all of these guys in my life. They are all a true blessing.

Nevertheless, the day that Todd was diagnosed, Mike called me and put me in touch with Todd. We have spoken ever since.

Today Todd is 30

Lately, I have been having a hard time thinking about my friend Todd's struggles. Todd has just started chemotherapy and on Feb 4 Todd will be undergoing surgery to remove the multiple tumors from both lungs.

I know that Todd's procedure will be hard on him emotionally and physically. I hope the best for him, but I worry... a lot.

I find myself laying awake worrying about him. I know it is not good, but I find it hard to stop. I hope that he pulls through. He is such a good guy and so young. This should not be happening to him.... or me really.

I worry about his outcome. I worry because I am not sure how I am going to react. I know that statement might have sounded weird because I have never met him and he is not a life long friend. And to be honest with you, I am not sure if I can even explain this thought process to you. I guess when you are dealing with a life altering situation, only someone in the same boat you are in can really understand. I don't mean that to be harsh or negative, but I think it is the only way I can explain my emotional attachment to someone I have never met and only had a connection too since August.

In recent weeks, Todd has begun to pull away from me as the time gets closer to his surgery. I am not sure if he is trying to protect me or pull away. He has been taking big trips enjoying this time. That does make me happy

His upcoming surgery makes me question my own thoughts.
Clearly i am not as emotionally strong as i thought i was.

This entire rant might not have made much sense, but I am finding it hard to put my thoughts into words.

So from today until Feb 4, all of my positive thoughts with be with Todd.
On Feb 5, we will know the rest of the story....

Things That Make Me Laugh

This is my grandmother and I singing over the holidays...

this really makes me laugh.. hard! :)

Results

I have received the results of my most recent from my CT Scan.

So I had a CT Abdomen and CT Pelvis Scan with contrast.

When I visited Dr Tanaka for the results, he told me that he had good news and bad news.

Lets start with the good news:

I was informed that my previous tumors have started to decrease in size.
The decrease is not substantial, but it is a start ---> 1.2cm to 8mm
My doctor was very happy about this.

Now the bad news:

The CT scan showed a smaller mass (nodule) found on the base of my lower left lung. This caught me off guard. It was not something I expected at all!

So a few more testes will be conducted...
I will tell you more as I get it

much love to all...

3 month CT Scan

It has been 3 months since I have last had a CT scan.

To refresh everyone's memory, I was suppose to have a CT scan of my abdomen and pelvis on October 31 -- Happy Halloween!!!-- Trick or Treat!! Well instead of getting a treat on Halloween, I got a trick! The radiologist who was overseeing my scan on Halloween choose not to do my pelvis scan.... Long story short, I was told to wait 3 months to get another scan. Once I have the final scan, I would be able to figure out my treatment.

So today is January 8th. My appointment was at 9:30am.
Driving to the hospital today, I was under a calm stress (i know that it an oxymoron, but it is true.) When I got to the Radiology Department at UC Davis, I was introduced to Piper, my nurse. Piper was a very kind lady who was very helpful. She prepped me for my scan (gown, IV, contrast, etc)

Pam was my radiologist. Pam was also very kind, understanding and thorough. I requested to see my orders before we started the scan. I explained my history with the Radiology Department to both women... they could not believe the issues I have encountered. Once reviewing my orders (a scan of my abdomen and pelvis) we started the scan -- first without contrast (both of the abdomen and then the pelvic area). Then a scan in both areas with contrast.

I was informed after the scan that would have the results within 24 hours!

So now it is just after midnight.
I am worried about meeting with Dr. Tanaka tomorrow at 4pm.
That meeting will change my life. Its scary

It is odd that one meeting with a doctor could change my entire world.
Regardless of the information, positive thoughts will get me through...But its hard!

Until then.......

Happy New Year

Happy New Year!

2008 is behind us and we are going full force into 2009!

My holidays were very nice. I was able to go home to Connecticut and have multiple parties and gatherings with family. Despite the freezing cold temperatures and being snowed in on New Years, it was a really nice trip home.

I also bumped into a great deal of my high school classmates. I was unofficially put in charge of putting together our 10 year high school reunion! Can you believe it has been 10 years!!!

I have put together a facebook group so that members of our high school class can gather electronically. This will also be helpful to inform everyone of our plans!! After posting the group, within 24 hours, 90 members joined!!! We had a total of 345 classmates in our graduating class! -- so almost 1/3 of our class has joined! Very exciting.

As for everything else, I am not too sure what to say. I have been feeling ok (not well, but not bad) when it comes to my medical. I was not feeling too well when I was home in CT. I went to see a specialist in Avon CT who checked me out.

On January 8, I have a CT Scan in Sacramento and then I have a doctors appt on January 9th to meet with Dr. Tanaka.

I am very nervous... my anxiety is high, but I keep reminding myself that I need to know the answer, regardless of what I am told.

So I wait.... (and if you have been following my blog, you know how much I LOVE to wait..... )

I have been thinking good thoughts to try to overcome the overwhelming anxiety...